A GLOSSARY OF "BORDERISMOS"

Alien.-A term used by opportunistic politicians and sleazy reporters to describe any legal or illegal immigrant, people with heavy accents or exotic clothes, and people who exhibit eccentric social, sexual, or aesthetic behavior.

Art-maggeddon.- The end of the world according to the art world, or the end of the art world itself.

Borderization.-Self-explanatory. Currently afflicting the US and Western Europe, this process is also known by sociologists as "Calcuttization" or "tercermundización."

Chicanadians.- Second generation Mexicans living in Canada and/or children of Mexican and Canadian parents living in the US Please do not confuse this term with "Can-aliens," which refers to any undocumented Canadian, inside or outside Canada.

Culti-multuralism.-An esperantic Disney world view in which all cultures, races and sexes live happily together. The term went out of use in 1992.

Empty-V.- After "Reali-TV, the second largest media conglomerate on the planet.

Free Taco Agreement.-An innovative economic initiative designed by The Chicano Secret Service. Its main objective is the production and distribution of free tacos to the starving and deterritorialized gringo minorities. En español "Tratado de Libre Comerse." Favor de no confundirlo con el (intraducible)"Tratando de Libre Cogerse".

Ganga.- From the English word "gang." A term coined by the US Police Department to describe all people of color under 18.

Gringotlani(teca).-Nomadic Anglo tribesmen which migrated to southern Mexico and Guatemala in the early '70s. They are known for their colorful ponchos, stylish huaraches and encyclopedic knowledge of Latino culture in general.

Horror vacui.- Please ask Umberto Eco or Baudrillard.

Jalapeño pusher.-A petty criminal who sells chiles on the streets to intoxicate innocent American children.

Latinos Alpinos.-Latino settlements in the Swiss Alps and the Rocky Mountains. Also, the name of a Chilean post-punk band.

Maquiladora Art.-A model of production often used by cultural organizations based on the United States side of the border: Mexican and Chicano artists provide raw talent, while gringos administer the operation.

Menage a Trade.-Synonymous with NAFTA.

Mexkimo.-A polar Mexican. Mexkimo settlements are found in what used to be Iowa, Minnessota, Illinois, and British Columbia.

Mex-truation.-A demographic hemorrahage currently spilling into the US, historically contained by the co-Texas Rangers.

Pene-trading.-The act of trading with a smaller and weaker country. It also refers to the act of trading male genitalia.

Post-CNN Chicano Art.-A new techno-rascuache aesthetic that fuses epic rap poetry, performance art, interactive television, holographic radio and computer art; but with a Chicanocentric perspective and an sleazoide bent.

Pus-modernity.- The infected modernity.

Saint Frida (Kahlo).-Holy Patroness of ethno-feminists and NAFTArt dealers.

Spanglization.- A continental infection for which there is no antidote.

Television.-White people's freedom of speech.

Virtual Barrio.-The Chicano inter-neta.