Post-Mexican artists release recovered files of the tech-illa network. Experts believe leaked document may be false.
(.txt dot con Sangrita)
By Rafael Lozano-Hemmer & Guillermo Gómez-Peña,
post-Mexican double agents compiling illegal knowledge.
Dear cibernautas angloparlantes,
Ever wonder what is in the root directory of your Mexican server? Wouldnt you want to peek at the files of Chilicon Valleys most powerful sysadmin? Scary, que no? What follows is a leaked document extracted from deleted files of the tech-illa network, a rare glimpse at the webback undergrounds real agenda. <Warning> It is unclear at this time if this information was obtained by hacking into the server or if it was distributed on purpose as a decoy. </Warning>. Sections in Spanglish are untranslatable. </Warning>.
Decompress Mexi-cyborg file
Nosotros, los otros
We are all ethno-cyborgs, chiborgs, cyBorges, ciboricuas y demás. If you want to know the future of technology take a good look at us, check out Walter Mercado en Univision, a true transgenic social spammer, the mero Miami bastard son Morpheo of Captain Kirk and Liberachi.
Also, check out 60 year-old TV hostess & Venezuelan Extreme Beauty Queen Viviana de la Medianoche, with her designer body rebuilt from zero in Tijuana clandestine clinics; mil dolares, and this includes nose job, chin, inflatable chichis, removable ribs and voice change activator.
Dont forget to also research Latino Frankenstein sites,
Direct TV en español, and pop cultural phenomena like
el Transgenic/trans-ethnic Ricky Martin invented in Epcott,
274 year old talk show host Don Francisco;
or La criminal pop star, Gloria Trevi, who also knows the secret of immortality
Don't forget to carefully analyse our composite identities
We/our 207 face lifts & our 49 laser identity surgeries
We/the Mexican Orlan
We/the children of El Frankenstein de Los Mochis y La Novia de Chucky
We Los High-tecas de East LA y La Mision.com
We/our very sentimental feedback hearts
We/our rrrobotic jalapeño joystick enlargement methode
We/our identity morphing mask (we code-morphed before Transmeta's crusoe processor and IBM's daisy project).
We/our 1960's melanina pills still sold in Cuernavaca and Acapulco for instant racial identity change.
Celebrity clients include Colin Powell, Michael Jackson & Salma Hayeck
We/our liposuctioned nalgas de estética infomercial bien 1970's
We/our peyote graphics engine
We/our mojado scuba technology
We/carne asada eating ebola bacteria
We/cyber-mexican flies and digital cockroaches
We/burrito powered robo-raza
We/los cyber-nacos en La Neta-scape
We R slowly corrupting your default configuration
We R alien webbacks,
and we have strapped on
our new hybrid neural implants
that enhance the adaptability
of the epistemo-loco-perceptual apparatus
to non-linear telesensory inputs.
You think we are getting sleepy when we are just resolving a recursive loop: why else have fuzzy logic cochlear processors, mex-plico? Were solving netaphysical dilemmas of sorts, tex-plico? Our bigote doubles up as an antenna for our spread spectrum wireless LAN connection (and yes, it is I-triple-E eight-o-two eleven and bluetooth compliant).
Question: what's the most powerful computer super-cluster?
Answer: a 512-processor machine in New Mexico called "Los Lobos". No coincidence the cluster is programmed in "Object Oriented Chile ++" which is radically incompatible with all your languages (you may utilize our machine translation program Mexicorama2 to view but not edit the code).
You feel pretty hot with your overclocked gigahertz Pentium when all the action is in our new yottaherz Sexium with speedy-g-spot inside (available from chip maker Advanced Mexican Devices AMD).
What did you think really happens at the Mac/illa-doras?
We are reverse engineering your ass, mi nerdisteca! Porque?
You want the naked truth?
According to a spokesman from the Michoacan Institute of Technology(MIT): "Latinos are currently interested in what (we) term 'imaginary' or 'poetical' technology. Its premise is as follows: Since most Latinos dont have access to new technologies, we imagine the access. All we have is our political imagination and our humor to interject in the conversation It's an imaginary act of expropriation. Nuestra complejidad estético-intelectual compensa la falta de billete, mexi-comprendes?"
Have another drink compadre
Mas-turbado que nunca
Issue who is command <Lupita.xml>
Who do you think is your sysadmin?
It's Lupita, your service provider!
That's right, Lupita is the real motherboard, la Gran Coatlicue Digital, la Matrix Chola. Born multi-tasking and multithreading, she has protected memory and she wont grant you access privileges. Y wátchala porque se come a sus hijos! She eats her own children. She laughs at your binary code,*&%$^& when you try to digitize,*#@$!%^ scan*!~@$+(* and sample**&^^^%R# the world with a simple YES/NO, a one or a zero*^%#)(+^ black/white, in/out. Norte/Sur.
No wonder you are undergoing a crisis in representation/a crisis in masculinity/sociability/ethics. (Delete paragraph after reading it).
She has long ago dropped the binary code in favor of a recombinant self-organizing system of neural nets interconnected via EMR fields that allow for complex emergent phenomena, lighter and deeper shades of brown.
El ciberespacio es café, no blanco ni negro, remember,
You try to learn Spanish w/Cybervision tapes, but it's never enough.
You try to ping her but get a 401.
You try to trace her and you get a denial of service attack.
You try to open her attachments but you get a blue screen of death
You try a portscan but you get an error type 2
You send her cookies and she hits you with the "I Love You" virus.
You send her pirated MP3s (bad Polish pop tunes) and a pair of killer porn-video glasses, and she hits you with the "I need you" virus.
You are TC (technologically correct); we are TA (technologically abusados).
We are TI: temporarily incompatible.
Empty trashcan/memoria digital/la memoria está en el dedo.
We know your sysadmin and she is mad as hell
Snooping on her registry could be your last fatal crash.
Decompress gastronomy file on "Tecno-canibalismo"
While your fabs produced Silicon wafers with copper deposition, we Olmechs were already going submicron with carbon-based buckminsterfullerene biocompatible processors...and eating them! Ever heard of nacho chips? Well, that happens to be the code name for our nano-EPROM-chips.
Our fat beer gut (see ../barriga.jpg) is our redundant array of lipid-soluble memory nano-chips, --digo "nano-chipos" de chipotle-- that's right, tortilla co-processor wafers made in TJ/Taiwana and East Japangeles.
We eat it all, de tocho! We can assimilate "low" or "high." Nos da igual. Our diet includes everything from crappy calculators, "Target" ionizers, and wrist/phone watches (o sea, refurbished Aztechnology), to sound systems with fake fancy brands "made in Tepito" & mas y more hydraulics for our hi-preco lowrider carruchas. (Just check the new Made-in-Kioto Lowrider Mag). We specially like cables con chorizo, tamalgochis y web-os rancheros.
Why do you think the founder of Slashdot.org, the ultimate net destination for nerds, is called "CmdrTaco"? Cause that's where the action is, cross-over edible biotech computers that thrive in diverse gene-pools
O sea, que wáchala:
Habitamos en Chilicon Valley,
Barrio sur del DDT (Digital Divide Tardio).
See you-See me
We are heading North
Mi querido ethernet
Have a psycho-tropical tech-illa,
Y ponte las pilas web-on.
Decompress history file on "Mexican science."
Back in the late 1930s, the theory of cybernetics was first postulated at the Instituto Nacional de Cardiología, when Mexican researcher Arturo Rosenbleuth investigated the heart's autonomy from the brain. Until then, no explanation was available as to why the heart kept beating in brain-dead "Pacheco" (mariguano) bodies. O sea, how could the corazón keep pumping without receiving instructions from the brain?
Also in Mexico City, Dr. Rosenbleuth's gringo colleague Norbert Weiner, interdisciplinary thinker extraordinaire, developed "the theory of messages and feedback" to explain self-regulation and in so doing laid the foundation for most current thought on control and communications.
Carnales, and you thought cybernetics was about hard-and soft-ware? When it was about wet-ware all along?; about corazones sangrantes, errantes, punzantes, mecánicos, hidraúlicos: about pulsating hearts que jamás siguen instrucciones de arriba; puro heart-drive ese
2 PAGES OF UNTRANSLATABLE SHAMANIC LEXICO-LOGICAL POETRY
And then Mexicans brought you color TV, thanks to Guillermo González Camarena's first patent in 1940. And followed through with the first stereo and telepresence recordings, gracias al maestro Juan Garcia Esquivel in the 50s.
Also in the 50s, Mexican wrestler hero and alternative scientist El Santo made several movies in which he clearly anticipated the Internet, lap-top computers, web cameras, see-you see-me systems and Chicano performance art.
Then in the 60's, Chicano scientists from the Michoacán Institute of Technology (MIT) working in clandestine garages throughout the US Southwest developed amazing hydraulic robotics for lowrider cars, which in retrospect make American robotics, from Moravec to SRL, frankly, frankly look naïve.
More recent accomplishments you may know about are the laboratory synthesis of pheromones (abusado con los Latin lovers) and Miguel de Icaza's Gnome project, the most admired and adopted "open source software" ever developed. However most of these breakthroughs have been ignored by the Logos Digitalis, and as of now remain unpublished by Mecánica Nacional.
TO BE CONTINUED
QuetZalcua82L*1 (from "Memory bank #36582):
In 1999, Americans were arming themselves in record numbers, preparing for the Y2K blackout to be protected from looters, riots, anarchy, you know, brown people. At the same time, Subcomandante Marcos was named by Wired magazine one of the top 10 techno visionaries of our era. If you cant escape from Latinos in the privileged final frontier of cyberspace, where can you hide?
The following warning has been circulating throughout the net by cyber-terrorism watchdog groups:
Virus Alert!! Warning!! Do not open any email sent to you if the "subject" is in any language you do not understand" Spanish, French, Spanglish, Frangle, Ingleñol...Opening these messages may corrupt your fragile sense of personal and national identity If you have recently pointed your browser at any web site with Latino content: Zap Net, Virtual Barrio, Inter-Neta.com, Lati-Net, Salsaparagringos.net, Chihuahuas.com --a subsidiary of Taco Bell Incorporated, Ricky Martins Menudo unplugged Page, Pocho Magazine, Pochanostra.com, or any other "Latino" web site...you may be already infected.
NSA virus researchers at the Pentagon are calling this new Silicon infection QuetZalcoat-82L or simply The Mexican Bug.
The dreaded Michelangelo virus 96 and the RTM virus are harmless compared to the Mexican Bug. Like a cucaracha gang of microbites this "programa" loiters at seemingly non-threatening Latino webs: Rock en español music sites, high ethnic crafts, el Carne Asada without Meat Club, vegan burrito recipes, and sexual tourism information pages, detecting and targeting gringos with an innocent fascination for ethno-exotica.
Soon after visiting these sites you receive a friendly looking e-mail, announcing a nice Mariachi Festival or advertizing a Salsa theme cruise to Baja. When you open it, a cute talking Chihuahua in a poncho and a pink sombrero appears on the screen and delivers the following message with a thick sabroso Spanish accent:
Querido turista, curador, crítico, empresario:
There is no moral, physical or social repercussions to your actions in cyberspace. Digital technology has finally allowed us to create an inoffensive millennial mythology of the Latino, the Indigenous and the Immigrant Other. We are part of this new mythology. We are meant to cater to your most intimate fears and desires. "
*1.-Excerpt from an unsolicited e-mail by "Cyber-Vato #127" Bob Sifuentes heavily edited by the authors of this manifesto
VI.-Excerpts from the cyber-testament:
"In the beginning there was nothing,
a vast untamed, unseen cyber desert
with no water, ice, fire, or wind.
There were no animals or plants,
not even microscopic creatures.
and then we came,
El Gran Homo Digitalis.
In the absence of cardinal points,
we moved in all directions,
conquering every inch of virginal space,
naming it as we saw it,
mapping the uncharted terrain of our future.
We were young, ambitious and white,
& there was no one else around to bother us.
It was the Cambrian era of cyberspace.
Our dictum was unquestionable:
borderless "communication," that is in English,
free trade across continents & minds,
a Theology of Interface,
unlimited belonging to a " total world,"
Then came the Others,
brown people, tar people, e-mongrels of sorts,
speaking bizarre linguas polutas.
The cybarbarians came from the South of nothingness,
& rapidly moved North into "the zone,"
In order to keep the webbacks "out,"
we constantly upgraded our systems & software
& made them increasingly expensive & complex,
but they began to pirate our programs.
We then created border fences,
intricate security codes, digital checkpoints,
but they figured all of them out.
Soon we were left with no other option
but to privatize the New World.
The "land grab era" was coming to an end
North, South, East, delete
We were then forced to utilize more severe
in orther to$#@$#%
& those living South of the digital divide
were#%$%$until the()65#@+8*&II "
-Año de 2002
DT (despues de Technopalzin)
Go-Mex East Erra-fael
The year of the Stalking Fox
According to Mayan Astrology (Channel 55)
© 2001 Pocha Nostra